Why do some people just not get it?

I was enjoying my summer, until I made the mistake of checking St. Pauli Girl McCain's blog.

There are few things that I have much patience for in this life. One of those things are self-appointed know-it-alls who really have nothing intellegent or worthwhile to say, and to cover for their lack of intellegence, like to throw insults. St. Pauli Girl is one of those guys.

How do I know this?

I had the great displeasure of reading one of his latest blog posts concerning Roman Catholic Holy Cards.

Seriously?

St. Pauli Girl McCain is now an art critic? This guy seems to know everything. (Or, he likes to pretend that he knows everything.) He also believes that I need to know his opinion on such matters.

A few questions come to mind.

First, is it that boring over at the Commissar's Publishing House that St. Pauli Girl is going through his holy card collection?

Second, where did he get his art degree from? Maybe he got it from here? Do I see a doctorate in his future as well? Last time I heard, that leads one to a cushy job over at LLL with a gig on the Lutheran Hour.

Hey, St. Pauli Girl, any reason why you want to insinuate that St. Stephen was gay? Tell me that it was just one of thing things where you thought it would be cool to show off by making fun of something.

At least the Roman Catholic Church tries to teach its members who the saints are. St. Pauli Girl, I don't think they need your imprimatur on the artwork that is used to represent the saints. I'd rather take that image over the one of Luther that you hold near and dear to your heart.

Knowing that St. Pauli Girl doesn't like to be criticized on his blog, I am going to venture a guess that my comment on his blog will never see the light of day. I have taken the liberty to post below what I tried to post on his blog:

"Other than mocking the saints, questioning their sexual orientation, and their depiction by artist through the centuries, do you have anything else to do? Are you going to write about the images of Christ in history that portray him in a skin tone other than pasty white and say how that is un-Lutheran and wrong? I know, go on a rant about the Black Madonna of Czestochowa, that should take up some space.

Other than taking cheap potshots at Roman Catholics and their art, what exactly do you do during your day? Have you done anything to promote artwork by Cranach to get it into more people's hands, or have you decided that CPH couldn't make enough money on something like that?

I was hoping to see you at my district convention, but I guess your 'ministry' at your 'parish' (i.e. cubicle) and praying at your 'altar' (i.e. monitor) kept you away."

The new buzz word . . .

I am asking for some help here.

I have been reading, listening to district conventions online, reading synodical and district rags, and I keep coming upon this word . . . "missional."

To be a good Lutheran, I ask, "What does this mean?"

I hear this word, and for a moment, I think that they are giving the synodical position on procreation. Everybody seems to be saying it. I do believe I even heard Rev. Matt "Synodical President Wannabe" Harrison utter this word. (Are you allowed to say this word in mixed company? In front of children?)

I have searched the Scriptures. I have searched the Lutheran Confessions. I even read Walther (gasp!). All to no avail. No one uses this word.

Maybe I am too old and I just can't keep up on the hip new jargon these young folks are using today.

I guess I'll just stick to the language that I know and confuse people by saying words like, "liturgy", "sacrament", "private confession and absolution", "eucharist", "divine monergism" . . .

Does anyone have a clue on this word?

Paul who?

As is my custom, I like to read other blogs to see what is currently all the rage with these internet savvy kids. I stumbled upon a blog where there seemed to be quite a fight brewing. I won't go into all of the details, you can read it for yourself on this blog.


The argument that was occurring was really about nothing. (I agree with you Fr. Petersen and Fr. Beane.) In fact, there really should not have been an argument. Apparently, a Rev. Paul McCain decided to make it an issue.

Ah, yes, Paul McCain. This guy's name pops up all over the Lutheran blogosphere more often than a pop up ad for a bad porn site. He is into more people's business than a horny sailor in France on leave.

Who is Paul McCain? What is his motivation? Why has he decided to crown himself as the unofficial official spokesman for all things Lutheran on the internet?

There he is. Out there. Everyday. Surfing the web to keep us safe from anything that he doesn't think is Lutheran.

Of course getting paid to do it. Any other job and his ass would be fired and out the door for abusing company time by playing on the internet.

I really don't think that he is superhero material. I also don't really know what or who he is trying to save and protect.

Every time that good ole' Rev. McCain adds his two-cents worth on any blog, he always seems to be going after those types he used to defend when he was Rev. Dr. A. L. Barry's assistant.

I remember talking to Rev. McCain when he was Dr. Barry's gatekeeper. He was this gleeful guy from Iowa East. He was so excited that confessional Lutheranism was making a comeback. So encouraging of college students to become faithful Lutheran pastors and head off to Concordia Theological Seminary where they could become confessional Lutheran pastors. Now, those same students he was encouraging and all excited about, he's turned on them. Why?

What has made him so spiteful, so angry, that he stoops to trolling blogs and trying to "out" those he's thinks aren't Lutheran?

When Rev. McCain got the head job at CPH, many, myself included, were excited that there just might be a revival of a Lutheran publishing house. It started out well. I know that politics knocked him out of that top spot. Still, some good things were coming out. Now, he acts like a bear with his paw in a bear trap, lashing out at anyone who comes near him.

I remember that there was a period of time in our synod when we had people like McCain. Overactive imaginations, witch hunts, suspicions about those who did not espouse an exact view of Lutheranism that they held, and even more suspicious of those who were liturgical. I don't remember their actions helping matters any. If anything, it helped to weaken those who were Lutheran and embolden those who were more "progressive" shall we say? Those "progressives" are now running the synod, and those who did the witch hunting are either dead, retired, or are still chasing those ghosts and have grown quite delusional in their quest to root out those "un-Lutheran" types.

Rev. McCain, who or what ghosts are you chasing? Why have you decided to chase after those you once encouraged? What do you hope to gain? Is your paycheck that much that you have decided to turn your back on those who once supported you?

You remind me of a Lutheran pastor from the not so distance past. He was once a leading pastor in the "Battle For The Bible", well respected, published and went after those who did not measure up to what it meant to be Lutheran back then. Then, he changed. I don't know if no one told him the war was over, or that the battlefield had changed. He just went off on his own with a new group, doing the same things, gathering information (over the internet, especially email, no blogs back then), denouncing others, publishing, public speaking, all those things he had done before.

The man that I am referring to is Dr. Waldo J. Werning.

Tell me this Rev. McCain. Has the mantle been passed on to you? Are you the new Waldo? Your actions these past few years seem to indicate as much.

Instead of calling people names, making baseless accusations, and trying to act like some defender of the faith that you are not, why don't you either leave CPH and take a call to a parish, or leave CPH and get a real job? I think leaving your cubicle would really change your view on what is happening out in the "real" world.

Something to think about.

My Pet Goat

I was at my local somewhat Christian bookstore the other day, and what do I see? A book from a Rev. Matt Harrison. Something about missions and evangelism. Or so I thought. Instead, it looked more like a picture book filled with photos, every ten pages, or so, of a smiling Rev. Harrison, farm animals included. (Where were the baby pictures? Do his baby pictures also have him mugging for the camera with that mustache?)

As one who has helped out on numerous real political campaigns, I knew exactly what this book was. Following in the glorious footsteps of President Obama, Sen. John McCain, Sen. John Kerry, former Sen. John Edwards, among others, this is nothing more than a PR job for his presidential campaign. I do find it fitting that for chapter one, the subtitle is "Dear God, I've got an empty sack!" Really, that's what it says. Rev. Harrison, I applaud you for your honesty. I think you are the first person to ever fully admit that you have (or don't have) what it takes to become a Synodical President.

I do hope that the Harrison for President Campaign Committee will fully sell their souls and do the whole presidential campaign thing correctly. I would really like to see my District Convention, and other conventions this summer, full of book signings/meet the candidate/fundraising events. (Remember boys, the FEC has no jurisdiction here. There are no contribution limits, and no rules on campaign financing or spending.) Just do me a favor, don't be cheap on me and just have coffee and cookies. That's what the fellowship hour after church is for. If I have to suffer through five plus hours of Greetings From This RSO, Here's A Video To Justify Our Existence, plus the bonus of A Report of What the Synod At Large Isn't Doing and How We Are Trying To Justify Our Existence, I am going to need a stiff drink (or ten)!

Please don't disappoint me. Show me how bad you want it. Shower me with love and alcohol. Get me full of the spirits so that I can sign on as a supporter of your campaign only to watch some quasi-Lutheran pastor of Italian descent screw us all over again.

I have my convention credentials ready.

What to do?

This is a tough one.

Today, May 7th, is the Feast of St. Stanislaus, Bishop and Martyr, celebrated in masses around the world.

Deus, pro cujus honore gloriosus Pontifex Stanislaus gladiis impiorium ocubuit: praesta, quaesumus: ut omnes, qui ejus implorant auxilium, petitionis suae salutarem consequantur effectum. Per Dominum.

It is also the commemoration of C.F.W. Walther, Doctor and Theologian of the Church. Which is not even mentioned on the LCMS website, but the breaking news about A Burning Lutheran Antinomian Zealous Evangelization program is. Which, incidentally, looking at my trusty TLH, the calendar does NOT have a commemoration of C.F.W. Walther. Maybe he hadn't been beatified yet? Just venerable? He does make it in later calendars. Maybe blessed then? They discovered and confirmed a miracle? Maybe the miracle was in the form of the church polity he set up. The miracle being that the LCMS was still around using said polity.

By the way, to shatter some people's belief system, Dr. Walther's writings are not inspired and inerrant. Nor are his writings the rule and norm for all Lutherans! I'm a fan of the Book of Concord myself.

I digress.

Back to the dilemma at hand.

The question is, drink vodka in honor of St. Stanislaus, or have a beer in honor of Dr. Walther?

I'm leaning towards the vodka. It will hopefully make me forget the miserable state of American Lutheranism faster than drinking a beer. Also, no matter how much beer I drink, Dr. Walther just doesn't look any better.

An introduction

Why Calov?

For the uneducated, Abraham Calovius (April 16, 1612 - February 25 1686) was one of champions of Lutheran orthodoxy in the 17th century. Calov was a Professor of Theology at Wittenburg. His polemical attacks against syncretism, specifically George Calixtus, during the Syncretistic Controversies (1640-1686) were the leading orthodox Lutheran positions on this topic. (Syncretistic Controversies - the effort of George Calixtus and others to find unity among other Christian groups at the lowest common denominator. Sound familiar in this day and age?) Calixtus did not regard doctrine as the one thing necessary, and believed that those minor points of disagreement could be overlooked in the name of Christian unity. (I swear, I heard this before recently, by some modern day Lutheran "theologians".) Calov tended to disagree, quite forcefully in his writings. Through Calov's efforts and writing, he defended orthodox Lutheranism and, as the now sainted Rev. Dr. Kurt Marquart called him, "the watchdog of Lutheran orthodoxy."

Hence the name for this blog and what to expect. Ramblings, observations, and biting at the arse of those who claim to be Lutheran, but act quite the contrary.